I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
