Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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