I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
