Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
