he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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