Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
