I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
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