yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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