Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
