and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
