You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize