I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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