i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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