I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
