At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
