if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
