I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize