bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
