forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
