I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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