Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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