Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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