textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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