thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
