there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
