right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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