Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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