your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
