i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
