wanna go halves on a baby?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
