Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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