No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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