That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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