didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sext me about skeletons
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
