Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
