are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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