therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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