it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
