Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
