A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
