Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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