I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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