I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
