I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
