Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
not ubering you a puppy
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
