i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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