I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize