my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
