i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
