I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
