she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
