He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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