Need sex. Gaining weight.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
