whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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