I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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