She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
