Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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