she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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