It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize