i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
