drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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